Five ways to help support your teenagers self confidence
In the intricate landscape of adolescence, nurturing and supporting your teenager's self-confidence is a vital aspect of their emotional development and overall wellbeing. These years can be challenging to navigate and understanding ways you can support your child through these times can make all the difference to their self-image. From our persepective of having just left our teenage years we have formed some insightful approaches to help parents provide the essential support their teenagers may need in building a strong and positive sense of self.
Insight from recently graduated teens …
1. Help set realistic goals
When teenagers set realistic goals, they create attainable targets that align with their abilities. Achieving these goals offers a sense of accomplishment, demonstrating their competence and capability. This success becomes a building block for their self-confidence as they can see firsthand that they can overcome challenges and make progress. It cultivates a positive mindset, encouraging them to tackle more significant tasks and believe in their potential. This cycle of success and positive self-reflection contributes to a healthier self-image, as they see themselves as capable, competent individuals. This contrasts with unrealistic goals, which can lead to frustration and a negative self-image if they are consistently unattainable. Additionally, the process of setting and achieving realistic goals helps them develop crucial skills like planning, perseverance, and resilience, further contributing to their growing confidence.
2. Incorporate affirmations
Positive affirmations involve repeating positive statements about oneself to cultivate a more optimistic and constructive mindset. Affirmations work by influencing the subconscious mind, gradually replacing negative beliefs with positive ones. For example, encouraging statements about their abilities, worth, and potential can counteract self-critical thoughts, which is unfortunately extremely common for teenagers.
For teenagers, incorporating affirmations can be a powerful tool to combat self-doubt and negativity. By regularly hearing and internalizing positive messages, they begin to shift their self-perception towards a more confident and capable view, instilling a sense of worth, capability, and resilience.
Introduce affirmations by discussing their strengths and positive qualities. Create personalized affirmations together, focusing on areas where they may need a confidence boost. Encourage them to recite these affirmations regularly, perhaps in the morning or before challenging situations, to reinforce positive self-beliefs. You can integrate affirmations into daily routines, like adding them to notes, mirrors, or digital reminders. Lead by example; share your affirmations and make it a family practice.
3. Provide positive reinforcement
Positive reinforcement is crucial for teenagers as it strengthens desired behaviors, boosts self-esteem, and enhances their overall well-being. It also provides motivation, fosters a sense of accomplishment, and reinforces a positive self-image.
To incorporate this, regularly express appreciation for your teenager's efforts, accomplishments, and positive behaviors. Be specific in your praise, highlighting what they did well. Create a system where achieving certain goals results in positive reinforcement, such as additional privileges or special activities. Establish open communication, providing verbal reassurance and expressing confidence in their abilities. This consistent positive reinforcement helps build a supportive and encouraging environment, contributing to their overall well-being and self-confidence.
Coming from a girl who has just graduated from teenage status, sometimes you just want to feel heard and acknowledged for your effort. Be your teens biggest supporter and cheer them on through these formative years.
4. Be aware of how you talk about yourself and others
Your words shape your teenager's perceptions and attitudes. Modeling positive self-talk and respectful language about others teaches them healthy communication, self-respect, and empathy. It influences their own self-image and interpersonal relationships.
When you're mindful of how you talk about yourself and others in front of your teenager, you're essentially setting an example for them to follow. If you consistently use positive self-talk, highlighting your strengths and acknowledging your efforts, you show them the importance of self-respect and a healthy self-image. The same is applicable with negative self-talk. If your teenager hears how you critique what you perceive as your flaws, they will learn to do the same. In a time where there is already a lot of societal pressure, it is more important than ever to be a postive role model and foster their self-image.
Likewise, speaking respectfully about others fosters empathy and teaches them the value of treating people with dignity. Children often absorb the language and attitudes they observe, so maintaining a positive and respectful communication style creates a more constructive environment for their own emotional and social development. It establishes a foundation for healthy relationships and effective communication skills as they navigate the challenges of adolescence and beyond. This will also help them understand that they are more than their looks and accomplishments and to celebrate the aspects of self that they love.
5. Practice gratitude
Practicing gratitude encourages your teenager to focus on positive aspects of their life. This process shifts their focus from potential shortcomings to the things they are thankful for, creating a more positive mindset.
Regular acknowledgment of what they're thankful for fosters a positive mindset, reinforcing a sense of well-being and accomplishment, ultimately contributing to improved self-confidence. This positive perspective can have a profound impact on self-confidence. Recognizing the good in their lives helps them build a more optimistic self-image, emphasising their strengths and achievements. Over time, this practice contributes to a mindset that is more resilient, fostering increased confidence in their abilities and a greater appreciation for themselves.
Personally, I start each day listing 3 things I am grateful for. I try to make it as specific I can, for example instead of just being grateful for my mum, I say, ‘I am grateful for the way my Mum called me last night to check up on how my assignment for university went and the support she gives me in my studies’. I find that this habit makes me look for what I am grateful for during the day and bringing my awareness back to gratitude during tough moments always allows me to take a deep breath and refocus on what is important in life.
From experience, teenage years are tough on your self-confidence. But there are ways you can help your child through this time and help them feel proud of who they are. I know it can be tough watching your loved one feel poorly about themselves, but know your love and support can make all the difference.
Abby Green
Co-CEO and Founder
